For years, I have felt called to do something and now after over a decade, I was scared witless that I am actually doing it! When I was about 18 years old, I spent a month in South Africa, with a lovely family that were like an uncle and aunt to me, I shared a little of this story here.
As I was taken to different places, I saw the passion and fire that the young people had, their willingness to testify of God’s blessing every chance that they got! I sat in meetings and “mission” nights in abandoned shops or people’s homes, realising that the young people’s faith and their relationship with God was so much more real than mine! I wanted to be like an Olympic torch bearer and bring the “fire” home!
A lot has happened since then, I have been a part of four churches and eventually returned to my home one, I have married and now have three children, each one with their little quirks and gifts!
When I was about 20, I was given a prophetic word, before I left to volunteer at a youth residential centre. It was that God would teach me about relationships, and not just marriage! Well he has done that! I have learnt about the relationships
- Between young people and their youth leaders.
- Between family members.
- Between church staff
- Between long standing members of churches and those leading them
- Between Christians and non-Christians.
I am definitely not the angry but passionate young man, I once was, but I am now a more experienced, slightly jaded and shattered father of three, a husband who daily tries to balance work, home and serving God where I can.
I have been blessed in so many ways! At times I have felt like I have got nowhere, but God has kept his hand on me, his provision has always been present! My testimony at my baptism and for a long while was about God keeping me alive when I was very small, as i had a lot of operations as a child and I even stopped breathing for 20 mins! Now, as an adult, I know that whatever God has planned, he’s not finished with Me yet! He won’t be finished until I am taken “home”. As I said in “expecting the unexpected” God doesn’t want the mediocre for us, our actions and inactions make cause us to not enjoy the blessings that he has for us in the way he meant.
Regrets and guilt about failures, about poorly chosen words or actions, are all in the past, Jesus died on the cross for all our mistakes, it isn’t easy to live “christ-like” every day, life is full of distractions and challenges, making you struggle with what he has planned and has in store for us but remember
Despite the last ten years of “wilderness walking” I am ready and raring to go, I am sure that it wont be easy, and may wish i was back eating cucumbers and relaxing where it was easy and safe but God’s provision is, has and always will be present and plentiful. My confidence must be in him as my own is too low! I look forward to the journey that I am going to be on, as I heard on sunday,
“If you have a dream, do not let go of it, strive for it, hunger for it!”